About Me  -  Gary Bozek

This is my story…

Preteen

I come from a broken family. My world was severely disrupted when my parents separated. It was a messy affair with my mom hiding my brother and I from our father.

We constantly moved around and I was enrolled in a new school each time we moved to a different school district.

Being the “new kid” was a bit intimidating to a six-year old. I didn’t know anyone, cliques were established, and I had no support if bullies decided to pick on me.

Eventually, the court ordered that we be returned to our dad. We were parked on the front step with our suitcases, and told to ring the doorbell, while mom watched from the car. When my dad opened the door, my mom drove away.

Gone…

I don’t remember if we were given an explanation of what was happening to us; I certainly didn’t understand it at the time.

Dad worked the night shift, so we didn’t see him much. We had various live-in housekeepers who provided the primary care giving: getting my brother and I awake, fed, and off to school.

For several years, life was comfortable.

I made new friends, was being courted by the neighbour girl, and had lots of adventures with my friends in the empty fields behind our yard.

Change happens…

The stability was shattered again when my mother remarried and we moved out of the city to live on a farm. That was a real lifestyle change for a young boy.

From the city, where I walked one block to school, to riding a bus for an hour (our farm was the first stop on the route). From going next door to hang with my friends, to having no neighbours for miles. From the hustle and bustle of an active city, to the quiet isolation of a rural farm. From indoor plumbing, to going outside to the outhouse (yeah, really)!!!

I easily integrated with the new school — I had lots of experience. The classroom bully befriended me — that was a nice change.

There were perks to being the bully’s friend: nobody messed with me, we got the pick of the musical instruments (we played the zither while everyone else played recorders), and we always had access to the play structures whenever we wanted.

I don’t know if I was a good influence on my friend. I never saw him bully anyone when I was around.

Maybe just having a friend was enough for him. Or maybe his reputation was enough that he no longer needed to. I wasn’t mature enough to ask before he moved away.

High School

Shortly after I started high-school, the family built a house in town. I no longer had to ride the bus an hour each way. I was right across from the High School!!! And best of all: we had indoor plumbing!!!

All the turmoil I experienced in those preteen years had a profound impact on my personality.

I was an introvert; I preferred being by myself. That doesn’t mean I was shy; I had no problem talking to people. I had learned to enjoy the silence when no one else was around.

I remember laying for hours in a snow bank on a crisp winter evening, just staring up at the stars and wondering if we are alone in the universe.

I was comfortable being alone with my thoughts. I also learned to rely on myself, instead of others, for my well-being.

Being independent is both a blessing and a curse. I had lots of acquaintances, but not many true friends. I had built walls for protection and had difficulty letting people get close to me.

I also didn’t care what people thought of me. I had a quiet confidence. I didn’t crave being the life of the party — but in a small group, I could keep everyone entertained.

Life is about learning…

I had developed a reading habit on the farm — not much else to do on cold winter nights.

In high school, I discovered the Library. I read genres that I liked: sci-fi, war, and westerns. When I exhausted the “easy reads” (things I liked), I started into the harder topics like history, biographies, economics, and science. I read every book on every subject in the Library, culminating in university text books on Particle Physics.

At my 20 year high school reunion, I went to the Library and checked the sign-out card in the Particle Physics book (there was a time before everything was digital). The original card, with my name on it, was still in the pocket. Only one person had signed it out before I did, and only two other people in the following 20 years. I’m sure, if they haven’t thrown the book out, or digitized their record keeping, the original card would still be there now.

Even then, I knew that high school was going to be the best years of my life — so I took every opportunity to learn, meet new people, and try new things.

Time comes to leave the nest…

Post High School

When I graduated, I didn’t have a Life Plan. I didn’t have a dream for a career or occupation, so I didn’t want to commit to go to university.

I was interested in electronics, but not enough to make a commitment. Maybe I was wise enough then to know that I didn’t know what I wanted.

I had contemplated joining the Air Force to pursue my desire to fly. But there was no guarantee that I would earn wings. I wasn’t sure that a multi-year commitment to being told what to do and how to do it, or getting up at 0500, was compatible with me.

Bumble and stumble into a job…

I had worked as a painter for a summer before graduating. When I finished high school, they took me on again. I may have continued in that career and apprenticed as a painter, but at the end of the summer they canned me.

I found work in a warehouse. I worked with a bunch of young guys, the pay was reasonable, we had fun, and I enjoyed the work. It enabled me to get my first loan, buy a new car, and start my independent life.

But, I was restless — I needed something to do in the evenings.

Back to the books…

I filled the gap by taking night classes. I enrolled in Administration classes at the University, and Electronics classes at the Technical College.

I loved learning and little did I know it would provide future opportunities.

The guys in the warehouse started going for a beer and burger for lunch occasionally. Then we started going every payday Friday. Then it became every Friday. Then it was a couple times a week.

At that point, I realized I needed a change or it would be detrimental on my health and attitude.

One of the instructors at the Technical College worked for the telephone company. He suggested that I had skills that would be suitable there . . . . . . and the pay was better!

That weekend, I created a resume, submitted it on Monday, had an interview on Wednesday, got a job offer on Friday, and started work on Monday.

hey baby, I'm your telephone man.
- Meri Wilson (Telephone Man)

I never had an experience like the song (although there were two guys on the crew that were always telling stories… so maybe it happens…).

My job wasn’t rocket science, but it could be challenging, and I got to drive around the city helping people.

After six years, I had reached the top of the residential installer ranks and the next logical step was to move to business installations.

I was craving a change…

If you remember the 80’s, there were high interest rates, a recession, and companies were downsizing.

The Telco was in a pickle: they couldn’t lay off personnel in redundant positions and they couldn’t hire into unfilled positions. They came up with a program to retrain personnel to work in their Information Technology department which was growing rapidly.

I considered the opportunity, but decided that I wouldn’t be comfortable working in an office and wearing a suit and tie.

Until…

A few months later, I had slogged my ladder down a right-of-way that was filled with two-foot snowbanks.

As I stood on the ladder, the wind howled, the temperature was -20 Celsius (-4 Fahrenheit), and I had to take my gloves off to attach the wires. My fingers quickly numbed, I lost grip of my tool and it plummeted to the ground, leaving an outline in the snowbank like Wile E. Coyote when he goes through a wall. I climbed down, dug around in the snow until I found my tool.

As I waded through the snow, back to my truck to warm up, I decided that maybe an office job wouldn’t be so bad!!!

Reconsider…

I had been interested in computers and purchased my first one shortly after earning enough money from my full-time work. (For geeks: it was a Commodore PET 4016, which predated the Commodore 64.) It was expensive, $3K all in (1979 Dollars), which was over half the amount of my first brand new car (1978 Chevy Nova Rally, four-on-the-floor, $5K). But I saw it as both a hobby and an investment in learning.

I applied for the position, met the aptitude requirements, and was accepted to retrain as a computer programmer.

A Technology College had been contracted to condense their one year diploma course into six months, so it was intensive. As mature students, we all studied hard, helped each other, and had fun.

Now I had…

A Career

I was now a computer geek!

People who don’t work in the industry, often don’t understand what roles, tasks, skills, or equipment is utilized. Information Technology (IT) people also make it difficult with arcane names, expressions, and TLAs (three-letter acronyms). So I will defer the technical talk to articles that are addressed to that audience.

I recognized very quickly that my job was to solve problems. The key objective, that IT personnel often forget, is to solve more problems than you create!!!

This is where all my aptitude, attitude, and skills came together. The work ethic from the farm meant I leaned into problems until they were solved. I also helped anyone who came to me with their problems.

More learning…

Everything was new to me, so I sought out mentors who helped me understand, coach, and guide me on my learning journey. Whenever someone asked me a question I couldn’t answer, I would take them to my mentor to get their question answered — and I learned also.

In the computer industry, things change at a rapid pace, so there is a constant need to learn. Not everyone in the industry embraces that — some people don’t want to learn and change. But I loved it!!!

As my knowledge and experience grew, my confidence in my abilities grew, and I started to innovate. There was a small group who began exploring Object-Oriented (OO) methodologies and techniques. I even started to apply my new OO knowledge to the old COBOL systems I was supporting.

As a senior analyst, I learned to lead a team. I made some classic leadership mistakes before my team helped me understand the role (challenge of transitioning from a technician to a manager). After I figured out how to lead, it became the easiest thing in the world.

I outgrew the company…

I ran out of challenges. My career path was limited, my ability to learn new things was narrowed, and I couldn’t pursue things that excited me. It was a big IT department, with lots of specialization, which limited the opportunity to participate in a wide variety of technology, systems, and processes. Once you were pigeon-holed into a particular role, it was difficult to transition to something else.

My education preference is to pursue deep knowledge (like a specialist) across many disciplines (like a generalist). I call the combination “w-shaped skills”. These are the skills that allow innovation — integration of many disciplines to solve a problem in a new, unique manner.

Career move…

I left the security of a big, corporate entity to work at a small, dynamic, innovative consulting company. They were developing a product using new technology and Object-Oriented techniques.

As a consultant, I worked short to medium terms at client organizations during the day, then evening and weekends, contributed to the development of the product.

It was an incredibly satisfying career move because it scratched my itch to learn, experiment, and contribute.

Then the entrepreneur bug bit…

I hung out a shingle and started working for myself as a consultant. One of my first gigs was back at the Telco consulting on OO technology (lots of interesting stories there).

Then I partnered with two other people to start a consulting business. It was successful and grew, until the greed of my partners undermined the business (lots of learning there).

Then I partnered with an amazing marketing expert and we built a team that developed cutting edge web technology.

Our technology had functionality that Microsoft, and other large technical companies, didn’t have. We had a proven technology and needed to find an investor in order to grow the company.

Alas, the investor we found took advantage of us, stole our technology, and left us holding the bag.

When we figured out what the investor was trying to do, we attempted to reverse our situation. For a couple of years, we tried to salvage our business and intellectual property. But it was an uphill battle.

Dark days…

Eventually, our company went down, I lost my marriage, lost my savings, and had negative income.

Those few years were the most difficult in my life.

I had to dig deep to keep going every day. Through all the pressures and challenges, I worked hard to keep a positive perspective, knowing that if I persevered I would come out the other side.

The bright light…

One of the key things that kept me grounded was my son. No matter what difficulties I experienced in my business and personal life, spending time with my son was what kept me going.

I looked forward to the time I would spend with him — it gave me a perspective of what was really important — not money, not property, not self. No matter how rough a day I had, when he saw me and smiled, my mood instantly changed.

Despite the turmoil my life was in, my job as a parent was to raise him to be a competent, self-sufficient, self-determining individual.

Unfortunately, kids don’t come with User Manuals.

I made lots of mistakes.

But I focused on a couple of key strategies to instill important values and concepts: discipline, responsibility, consequences, independence, and learning from your mistakes.

Today, he is a young man who stands head and shoulders above his peers. He possesses a maturity beyond his physical age. Where others youths struggle to build an independent life, he has grown his income, assets, career, and relationships by pursuing his goals, committing to excellence, exercising personal leadership, and continually learning.

Turn around…

I worked through a divorce, bankruptcy, loss of reputation, and personal demons. When you are at the bottom, there is nowhere to go but up.

I got back on the horse and rebooted my IT career. In a couple years, I was back as an entrepreneur (an independent consultant) with a much broader range of knowledge and experience to provide my clients.

I consulted to entrepreneurs, small business, medium-sized business, and large corporations across many different industries. Although my consulting was primarily as a business analyst or project manager, I still kept my hand in programming by doing personal side projects.

Having deep technical knowledge, in addition to high-level skills, helped me analyze and understand the trade-offs that need to be made when solving business problems. It helped me to dig into technical issues that were causing business problems, explain it to management in non-technical language, and recommend solutions to improve the situation.

Even though my role was technical in nature, I observed that a lot of problems were not.

Everything is easy, if it weren’t for people.
- Gary Bozek (1985)

When I started working in the IT industry, the problems were much more complicated than what I experienced farming, painting, moving stock in the warehouse, or solving telephone issues. I started to realize that there was a huge human component underlying many of the business problems (the bigger the organization, the bigger the human issues).

From my early days with my dad, just “watching people”, I developed a keen interest in understanding why people did what they did. Large corporate entities provide an abundance of situations to analyze or parody (see Dilbert).

I couldn’t help myself…

My analytical and logical mind was intrigued by the observations of challenges, how they arose, and how they were dealt with in the business environment. I began to study human behaviour, psychology, and motivation, in order to form a thesis to explain why people do what they do.

In the mid 90’s, I began to codify axioms that explain human behaviour in simple, common, understandable terms (not convoluted psychology, new age psychobabble, or professional doublespeak). I have continuously refined my understanding into 6 axioms that I call Cynical Theory.

It’s so negative…

You are forgiven if your initial reaction to the word “cynical” triggers a negative emotion. In our culture, we have been conditioned to think of the first meaning: “contemptuously distrustful of human nature and motives”.

I deliberately chose the word “cynical” for the second definition (ibid.): “based on or reflecting a belief that human conduct is motivated primarily by self-interest”.

One of the axioms of Cynical Theory is that: People Are Selfish. The bulk of human behaviour is, in my opinion, driven by selfishness. The other 5 axioms explain how selfishness is modulated, either amplified or diminished, on a personal or situational basis.

These axioms have served me well during four decades in the technology industry. It helped me understand the motivation (either positive or negative) of the people I encountered at work, at play, or at home.

The Journey Continues…

You may have noticed a few themes that ran through my life. They contributed to my personality and outlook on life.

I constantly look for learning opportunities. Since curiosity is a key driver, I have a deep understanding of a wide variety of subjects. (When I find a gap, I’ve found something new to investigate.)

I am compelled to help others. If I have the skills and knowledge to help someone and make a difference, I get personal satisfaction and enjoyment by doing so. (If you were paying attention, I help people for selfish reasons!!!)

I overcome challenges. Everyone has problems, be they little or large, in their personal and professional life. Living is about constantly solving problems until those that remain are trivial.

My goal, in retirement, is to share my unique perspective of knowledge and wisdom with the world. My writing combines experiences from my technical profession (Science and Logic), my observations of people (Cynical Theory), and my ability to execute (Common Sense) to help people improve themselves and reach their goals.

You are welcome to participate in my writing journey…

Maybe you’ll learn something…

Maybe you’ll teach me something…

Either way, feedback is welcome!!!

Be Cynical,

GB